The movie opens in the Dark Ages, with a voice-over from Ian McShane - who lets loose the first comedic "fuck" as part of his voice-over diatribe about the Dark Ages before we're a minute into the film. I don't care if they swear ("In Bruges" is brilliant), and I don't care if they do it for comedy, but this movie is laden with that word under the mistaken impression that it's funny. Sure, it can be - but not as delivered by this cast, or with this script.
Milla Jovovich is the evil Blood Queen, chopped into still-alive pieces in the Dark Ages and distributed across Britain. But in the modern day someone is reassembling her. She's cheesy in pieces, she's cheesy assembled. David Harbour mostly makes Hellboy work, but bad writing, bad directing, bad acting by everyone else, and bad CG monsters leave this one a bloody mess.
If you haven't seen the original, go watch it. No masterwork, it was at least a lot of fun.